Valentine's Day has come and gone. The holiday I openly claim to hate, yet, the effort I put forward decorating, buying gifts and planning menus certainly does not align with that statement. (Might I be a closet Valentine's junkie?) This usually comes from my inability to let go of traditions that my kids have long outgrown, or because I genuinely like to make people feel loved and appreciated. If you know me at all, you know I'm a little ball of emotions and I love to pour into people, and I am fortunate to have many people in my life that pour into me.
BUT (you knew that was coming didn't you)
I am here to remind you that, yes, while having others outwardly profess their love and appreciation for us through conversation hearts (these things have really become R rated btw) might feel good and give us all the good vibes, let's not forget that one of the most important relationships we have, is the one we have with ourselves.
I know many of you can relate. Whether it's giving to our children, families or our romantic relationships we tell ourselves "no" in order to tell someone else "yes". We've even said "yes" to our jobs and careers more than we've said "yes" to ourselves.
So let's stop and ponder that a moment.
Have you poured into your BOSS more than you've poured into yourself?
Caring for others and meeting their needs often take priority over what we need in life. I'm not oblivious. That is how life goes sometimes. Seasons of depletion from taking care of everyone but ourselves. I'm not pushing a life of selfishness where you leave your job and your family and head to Paris (but I mean, c'mon...how bad could THAT be???!?!?!) I am advocating for a life of self equality. Take care of yourself the way you take care of EVERYONE else.
At times in my life I have found myself transforming into someone I didn't even recognize in order to gain the favor of those around me, or I have stifled my own beliefs in order to keep peace or ensure that others didn't feel uncomfortable. Each time, I'd just get a little further way from ME.
I attribute most of that to the fact that I didn't have a strong grasp on how to show myself love, or how to take care of myself or how to truly understand that prioritizing my own mental wellbeing wasn't a selfish act. I didn't treat myself as an equal to ANYONE in my life. My needs, my wants and my dreams just weren't as important. My happiness was NOT a priority. I was not a priority.
Cliché's are cliché's for a reason and that has never been more apparent than with the saying "Self care isn't selfish" Self care is a basic need of life and I challenge you today to make YOURSELF a priority going forward. Show yourself some love. Date yourself. Spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself.
Here are some ways you can start along your path of self love and tell yourself "YES, GIRL" as much as you're saying "yes" to everyone else.
- Practice daily affirmations: I deserve peace. I deserve time to myself. I deserve happiness.
- Remind yourself of what you're good at. Umm, hello, dancing in your kitchen!
- Speak to yourself like you'd speak to your mother, daughter, bestie...bank teller. Most of us wouldn't DARE tell these people half of the crap we tell ourselves.
- Practice gratitude. You don't have to write it out. You don't have to meditate on it. Just think of it and remind yourself you have things to be grateful for.
- Every time you say "yes" to someone in your life, pause and make sure you aren't saying "no" to yourself.
- Stop the comparison. Curate your social feeds and stop feeling bad if you're more of a luke warm winter than a hot girl summer.
- Take time for self care habits. Journal, read, wash your face, light a candle, cook for yourself.
Remind yourself it's never too late to explore anything that brings you joy.
Don't forget to forgive yourself and offer yourself the grace you'd offer others.
Are you on your own journey of self care and self love? Have some great ideas to share? Shoot me an email and start the conversation. I'd love to hear how you're taking care of yourself!
If you aren't already, follow me on social media where our community comes together and talks openly and shares about the importance of self care, self love and self discovery. I'd love to have you there with us!