When You Find Your Tribe

When You Find Your Tribe

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Let's face it. Life can be tough, and it's not something you should tackle alone. Whatever you call that gaggle of people you surround yourself with, make sure you're making it a priority to connect with them.

Sounds easier than it is, right? 

These days, it's so easy to hide behind our screens. Literally, I'm the worst. I will 100% make or accept plans to get together with my people and then two days later, 100% start the process of trying to figure out how to get out of it. I'm an extroverted introvert. So, while I crave time connecting with people, I am quickly drained by plans and interactions so I have to make time for myself to recharge before and after interactions. But, during my time with my ride or dies I am ALL IN and my soul is completely filled afterwards. It's like helium straight to my soul!! There is nothing like hugging a friend, or actually witnessing live and in person when they laugh so hard they pee their pants. 

Spending time and making time for people in your life is HARD AF sometimes, but this is one of the easiest ways to boost your mood, practice gratitude, and reconnect with people who truly get you. True, authentic friendships are essential to self care and self growth. Unfortunately, they are also some of the last relationships to get our attention and honestly, trying to work around everyone's schedule is literally the worst. 

We all know time isn't a renewable resource. So how do we make time to show up for each other, outside of texts and DMs? Here are some of the ways I prioritize my friendships to make sure I'm getting those experiences I need.


  1. Schedule a standing girls' nights: Make it a point to schedule standing girls' nights where you and your besties can catch up, laugh, and unwind. Maybe it's the third Tuesday every month. Be as specific as possible and don't overcomplicate it. I have a group of friends I meet with monthly. Same place, same time. 
  2. Prioritize this time just like you would any other big rock in your life. I wouldn't dream of missing my mammogram every year, so you can bet your ass if I'm getting my boobs smashed on the reg I can schedule some time with my girlfriends. 
  3. Keep it simple. Spending time together doesn't mean you have to put forth any more effort than showing up. Literally, I have a friend I spend time with and she'll show up to my house after Pilates with a bottle of store bought wine and we just lounge. I'll throw out whatever I have in the pantry and we go with it. We are so much more comfortable and it makes it so easy to find the time. 
  4. Say no more to the things that take up your time and prevent you from doing things you really want to do. You don't need to volunteer to be the class mom, the cookie mom, the dog walker and the neighborhood babysitter. Pick the thing that is the most important to you or rotate through your volunteering. You should also always say no to laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning your house or yard work. I mean, really. Those weeds aren't going anywhere and we all know it. 
  5. Schedule an activity you both/all like to do. Need to get some steps in? Walk together. Want to volunteer. Pick a charity you all love. Need to go to Target? There isn't a woman in the world who's going to pass that up. 

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Don't get me wrong. I know all of this is hard. I know we feel guilty when we take time away from our families, our volunteer efforts, our responsibilities, especially when it's for ourselves. I know it's easier to just send a text or a meme. I do it all the time. I feel like because I "see" people online all day I don't need to see them in person. But guys, you can't hear the laughter in an "lol". 

Remember you're never going to regret spending time with your tribe. I've never walked away from a girls trip or a happy hour thinking "well, that was a giant waste of time." (and if you do, you have a bigger problem, like it might be time for some new friends). So, grab  your phone and instead of sending another Tik Tok, make a date to  pee your pants with your gals....and then post that sh*% on Tik Tok so we can all enjoy it!


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