Your Resilience Defines You Not Your Failures

Your Resilience Defines You Not Your Failures

Life's a rollercoaster, ladies, and sometimes it feels like you're stuck on the downward spiral loop. Been there, done that (bought the commemorative "I Survived" t-shirt). Whether it's a career setback, another bad Tinder date, or simply feeling stuck in a rut, resilience is the key to bouncing back and not only surviving, but thriving. So, how do you build that inner strength when all you want to do is spend the weekend rotting in bed with a pint Ben & Jerry's? (Hey, no judgement there – self-care is self care!!). Here are 5 science-backed (because I'm not just writing this crap out for nothing) strategies to help you become a resilient little rockstar:

Feel It to Heal It: I also like to call this "sit with the sh*t). We all have that one friend who stuffs emotions – waiting to explode. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that suppressing emotions can actually massively hinder your ability to cope with stress. So, the next time you feel a wave of disappointment or frustration, allow yourself to feel it. Cry, scream into a pillow (highly recommend), write it down in your rage journal (it's a thing and if you don't have one, we need to talk) – whatever helps you process the emotion and move on. Find out what works for you, but make sure you have a way to feel, deal and heal. Don't let those feelings fester.

Reframe Your Thinking:  Our inner voice can be our best cheerleader or our worst enemy. When facing a setback, that voice often goes into overdrive with negative self-talk. Here's the thing: negativity is a total buzzkill, and it definitely won't help you move forward. Challenge those negative thoughts! Is that job rejection a reflection of your entire worth, or just a bad fit for your skill set? I'm not going to sugar coat it, rejection and failure SUCKS! So bad. But so much of our reaction to what doesn't work out for us is directly tied to our egos. Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Or just accept that maybe right now it's just not the right time. You can insert all of the cliché sayings here, but clichés are cliché, because they're true. *mic drop*

Lean into Your Support: We weren't meant to go through life's battles alone. Science tells us that strong social connections are key to resilience. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who will lift you up, not drag you down. Need a listening ear or a pep talk from your bestie, who just landed her dream job? Don't hesitate to reach out to your people. Building a strong support system is like creating a superhero team. I know first hand that the more you are vulnerable around your friends and family, the more you show them it's ok for THEM to be vulnerable around you. 

Focus on What You Can Control: I know! I know! This can be SO hard. Life can feel pretty crappy and chaotic sometimes, but the good news is there's always something you can control. Maybe you can't change the fact that your interview didn't go perfectly, but you can control how you prepare for the next one. Focus on what you can learn from the experience and use it to refine your approach. Taking action, even in small ways, puts you back in the driver's seat and boosts your confidence.

Celebrate the Small Wins: It's easy to get discouraged when your goals seem miles away. But even your small wins are worth celebrating! Did you finally email that pitch to your dream company? Did you wake up early and crush your morning workout? Acknowledge those wins, no matter how small they may seem. And don't worry about perfection. I always have this goal of getting up early in the morning, sometimes that looks like a full hour early, sometimes it's 10 minutes early, but either way, I'm cheering for me! Celebrating small victories keeps you motivated and reminds you of your progress. 

Remember, resilience is a muscle that gets stronger with exercise. By incorporating these strategies into your life, you'll be better equipped to weather any storm and emerge even stronger. And hey, if you ever need a reminder of your awesomeness, re-read this post, or connect with me through email or on socials, or catch up with me on the podcast. I'm always here, cheering for you.


Join me on this adventure!

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